| Are you ready? |
[25 Jan 2005|07:55pm] |
Today is one of those days. This week is just one of those weeks. The kind that you can't decide if its good or bad. I feel...blah. Ya know, a general feeling of malaise and all that. Senior scheduling is a pain in my ass. Second semester is owning me. I'm done with trying so damn hard. I'm sick of working so much at the same old job. I'm tired of trying to resolve the same stale arguments with the same stale friends. I'm tired of being jealous of no tangible thing or person, but just jealous in general. I'm tired of dead end relationships. And most of all, I'm tired of waiting. For whatever.
I guess what it all comes down to is that my life is at a crossroads and I'm being asked "Are you ready?"
And the truth is, I don't think I am.
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[16 Jan 2005|11:29pm] |
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Everyone is so wrapped up in their own problems. And I'm wrapped up in everyone else's. So does that mean I've made these problems my own and I'm just as bad as them?
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[13 Jan 2005|03:53pm] |
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Give me one good reason for me not to hate your guts. I'm dying to hear it.
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| Many fine books have been written in prison. |
[03 Jan 2005|05:00pm] |
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mood |
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sappy. crappy. |
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So I haven't written in el journalo for a long, long time, and seeing as I am bored and want to avoid the inane amount of work I should/could be doing, I have decided to make an update, not that I ever had any friends on here or anything...
So today was my first day back to school, and the highlights were reading half of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas during study hall instead of doing my homework and discovering that I can work a Doors song into my English project. Hooray. Other than that, the day sucked. My pop culture teacher was a little too chipper for a Monday (what else is new) and somehow suckered me into wearing a hot pink outfit tomorrow...weird. In health I learned about the miracle of birth, and what a pretty little miracle it is. *Reminds self to never get knocked up*
I discovered the other day that Ludacris first album is "Incognegro" and I have incorporated it into every joke I've made since. I'm not racist. I just hate black people. Haha, totally kidding, almost.
I can't seem to understand why everyone is so god damned worried about India or wherever and their stupid tsunami. Fishers is under seige and the boat I call my car is bound to float away at any waking moment...although that could be a blessing.
In other news, I'm glad 2004 has passed because it was full of shit I just couldn't seem to flush. Good riddance. My resolution is upstanding: to be better than last year. Whether that means being smarter, thinner, fitter, better read, more confident,just more consistent, or learning to play guitar I'm not sure, but I'm determined to fulfill this resolution and you arent gonna stop me, bitches.
Thank you, and good night.
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[08 Feb 2004|09:20am] |
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I'm bored with the internet. I think I'm done with this. See ya around.
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[09 Jan 2004|12:53pm] |
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Addictions and afflictions are plaguing us all. Deal with it.
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| Here's to 2004. |
[01 Jan 2004|03:37pm] |
OK so last night I went to a lame party and didn't stay long. Then me and Brooke decided that what better way to bring in the new year than by driving around aimlessly having an insightful conversation over coffee from the gas station. It was lovely I must say, and I can't think of too many people I would have rather spent my new year's eve with. ;) Much love, Brooke.
So now we'll make a toast to another year forgotten, a new one to be remembered.
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| Happy New Year |
[31 Dec 2003|07:15am] |
So last night I went to see Mona Lisa smile with my two bestest friends and it was MARVELOUS. Oh how I love those two. It was a good movie, one of those ones that pulls at your heart strings or something like that.
I almost got grounded last night, though. My mom came home and started yelling at me for no apparent reason and somehow managed to call me lazy and a fucking bitch so I told her it was obvious that it wasn't me who was the bitch. And she tried to ground me but I'm bigger than her so I won. LOL.
My room should be done by the end of the week. Hot pink and black walls will be so kick ass. I'm excited to rearrange everything and I even got a posyer of at the drive in off of ebay. How fucking cool is that?
Today is New Year's Eve and I hope everyone's new year will bring good things to them. All I want is a boy to kiss me like he means it, lol. Fat chance.
Anyways, I should probably go do something productive.
Happy New Year everyone, and don't do anything stupid! ;)
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[28 Dec 2003|06:09pm] |
Can someone please tell me what the Hell is wrong with me?
God, I just fucking quit.
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| When you least expect it... |
[20 Dec 2003|05:53am] |
The last person I thought I would be hanging out with last night, I did. My ex BF told me he wanted to fix our friendship and so me and him and some other people hung out all night. It was actually not as painful and akward as I expected. Just like old times when we were still good friends. I don't really know why he decided to be my friend, but at least we are nice to each other now.
My sister is coming home today. I haven't seen her since Thanksgiving. We will be doing sisterly bonding and going Christmas shopping today. Wahoo.
Have you ever had like a really strange similarity to someone that you never expected? I had one last night. It turns out me and this guy Dan have THE EXACT same music taste, which NEVER happens. I mean NEVER. I didn't think anyone else liked the combination of indie, emo, hardcore, and a little bit of everything. It was cool talking to him and its nice to know I have someone who can go to every show with me. Yay.
I have a strange feeling that something really good is going to happen to me over this break, and I don't really know what, I just feel it coming. Maybe this is two weeks of unexpected but long needed bliss. Who the hell knows. I just know I have a good feeling to this break.
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| Pucker up and kiss the asphalt now. |
[11 Dec 2003|01:22pm] |
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music |
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At the Drive in- One Armed Scissor |
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Everyone needs to stop cutting. Its too trendy and its gay and I just wish no one did it. That is all I have to say about that.
This week has been really really long and stressful and I am so glad its almost over. There has been lots of confusing stuff and lots of work. The weekend can't come soon enough.
I have so much to say that I can't even think of anything. Sorry this can't be more entertaining for the no one that reads it. I think I'm going to go write now. Until next time...
Dissect a trillion sighs away
Will you get this letter
Jagged pulp sliced in my veins
I write to remember
'Cause I'm a million miles away
Will you get this letter
Jagged pulp sliced in my veins
I write to remember
I write to remember
I write to remember
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| Dasher is on Dancer... |
[03 Dec 2003|10:10am] |
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This year my mommy is doing all Christmas shopping online. I don't think she's ever even ordered me one damn thing offline cuz she was always paranoid about her credit card. Yay for me. Hmm... since she is really computer illiterate, maybe I can trick her into buying more than she intends. LOL.
Anyways...I have a funny story...are you ready? OK.
So last night I was fighting with my piece-o-shit computer and trying to email my dad a birthday card. My dog was outside and she was going CRAAAAAZY like she does when someones at the door. I asked my mom countless times if someone was outside, and she assured me that there wasn't. Soon thereafter, the doorbell rang and I had a feeling it was Chris and Cole, since they didn't have anything else better to do. They burst in my house and were laughing uncontrolabely...I just thought to myself,"Oh God, I don't EVEN want to know." They escorted me back to my bedroom and pulled up the blinds and told me to look out. We had just put up out Christmas lights this weekend and we have 2 of these huge ass light up reindeer. One is a buck who moves his head side to side and the other is a doe who moves her head up and down. Well, to my astonishment, the buck was ON TOP of the doe humping it! I have never seen something so funny in my life. People were driving by numerous times and slowing down to see the piece of work. I give them props for creativity. My mom was upset because she didn't think the minister across the street would like it too much, but Chris didn't seem to care much since he has already been yelled at by him for loud music outside. They fixed it anyways but before they left, they put it back into doggie-style position. Who knew that reindeer knew how to do doggie-style. Anyways, it was funny and was still like that this morning. True story. The end.
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| Oh man... |
[01 Dec 2003|10:15am] |
2065! But I'll be OOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLDDDDDDDDDD!!! Haha.
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| FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! |
[26 Nov 2003|06:58pm] |
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mood |
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DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!!! |
] |
I stole the inspiration for this entry from Brooke.
DAMN...
+Boys who don't like you
+Being sick
+Make-Up work
+Demanding and un-understanding teachers
+Out of tune guitars that are so far off tune that 4 of the 6 strings are tuned to a god damned E
+Family
+Thanksgiving and all of the shit it brings to me
+Runny nose
+Rosy cheeks
+Stupid orthodontics
+Death
+These stupid peantuts that jerk off gave to my sister that are sitting next to me
+My sister for being so fucking gorgeous that all my friends like her better than me
+My parents for not understanding
+Having no amp
+All of your long time crushes friends who have dated, liked, or like you
+The fact that I can't talk to anyone about this because they won't understand and can only make it much worse
+Soar throat
+Stu[d belly button and its damn infection
+The piece of hair falling out of my ponytail
+My friends for deserting me
+The walls in my room for having gay shit written all over by my "friends"
+People who pretend to like you for various reasons, all to their advantage
+My CD player that won't play any good CDs cuz its evil and is determined to make my day even worse
+This horrible computer that will freeze any second now
+Missing the bus. FUCK THE BUS!
+French.
+English for that matter too.
+The mucus coating my horribly raw throat and making it virtually impossible to swallow
+My god damned school which I hate with a fiery passion.
+This town that suffocates all the life right out of me.
+PMS
+Hard math tests you have to wake up waaaay early for just so you can fail and feel sick the whole time you are taking it
+The fact that my best friend is not here and i havent seen her in a week. *tear*
+Stoichiometry.
+This whole god damned day.
To Hell...
Did I mention I hate this day? FUCK THANKSGIVING! I will not being giving my thanks this year.
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| Life just keeps on getting better. |
[23 Nov 2003|08:19am] |
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Wow. I don't even know where to begin, a lot has happened, so this will be long.
Last Saturday I had a great day watching my sister ballroom dance at a competition. Pretty fucking cool. Then I got home and I went to a show and had a blast. The first band needs to learn that screaming does not sound like barfing into the mic. We went to Steak and Shake afterwards and it was so much fun. Like 20 of us were there and we all hung out in the parking lot after we ate and it was really cold but tons of fun. Justin drove through the drive thru backwards and got the cops called. LOL. He was yelling at the manager "BUT SIR! I have my 33 cents! All I wanted was a water!"
Saturday night I got in a HUUUUGE fight with one of my best guy friends. I have never been so crushed in my life. A whole week later, I still haven't talked to him. But then again, I was only at school one day this week...
My Aunt Lana died Sunday morning. When the phone rang at 11 in the morning, I knew that was odd since no one ever calls then. It was exactly 11:09. My mom sounded really upset so I got on the mobile phone in the kitchen to see what was going on. When I heard I dropped the phone and started screaming. I was very close to her and I wasn;t ready to let go of yet another loved one.
I missed all week at school except Wednesday and I have a SHITLOAD of work and projects and tests to make up, in 2 days, since next week is break. How sucky.
I had fun yesterday at the mall with my friend Amanda. We acted gay and tried on all these skirts and stuff. We saw Cole and Ross and they brought us home and we all hung out til like midnight. I learned how to play my very first song on guitar. I am so fucking excited. My friend said I could have his old guitar. Woohoo.
Today I will be doing my homework all day and hopefully seeing Stacey since I haven't seen her in days. I am stressed out. The end.
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| Hot Hot Heat and Gummy Worms. |
[14 Nov 2003|03:46pm] |
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mood |
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WOOHOO! |
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music |
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Hot Hot Heat- God Damnit |
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I've been in a good mood the last couple days, probably cuz I'm getting over a huge crush. Yea. That's enough about that.
Me and Alyssa got backed into last night while in the parking lot of Sally's. It was funtn cuz she had a reoccuring dream about it right after school when she was napping. Weird.
I am currently listening to Hot Hot Heat and eating gummy worms. Today is a good fucking day. I think I am eating pizza tonight and watching movies. I don't think I've ever been so happy about that before.
I am carefree. I think you should all join the club.
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| OK. |
[11 Nov 2003|10:21am] |
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Last night I didn't get to go to the show. I was pissed. The fight with the parents was a momentuous event. I haven't had a fight that huge since piercing my ear, dying my hair pink, crashing a car, and dating a guy with a baby. Wow, after all that crap, you'd think going to a show was no biggie. Guess not. My dad was cool about it and logical, AS AWLAYS and my mom just plain sucked. She likes to have a reason to complain. I still need to buy her a birthday present. Maybe she should buy me a coat.
I have more to say, but since I'm lazy and really don't feel its your business, I won't say it.
You think you're special
while your cuttin up all the words
she's ever said to you.
I think we both know they are misheard
and misunderstood.
Just like me and just like you,
this will never be how it should.
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| Local Shmocal. |
[10 Nov 2003|10:09am] |
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mood |
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My nose is all runny... |
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I am going to the Give Up the Ghost and The Bled show tonight at Rehearsal Studios. Who is excited? Me. I haven't been to a real show in what seems like forever. I didn't go to either of the local band shows Friday and Saturday because I'm sick of this local shit. They play the same places at the same times with the same material and same set up and same crowd. BOOORING. But anyways, I'm excited. Maybe I'll but a shirt or something.
This weekend was sooo freaking boring. I sat around and watched movies and did just about nothing. That's because everyone was at the shows or football game ::gags:: I got to sleep in all weekend though and that was nice. I still don't feel well-rested and I know tonight won't help at all. Oh well, it'll be worth it.
I need a new winter coat and my mom doesn't want to buy me one. Her birthday was this weekend and I told her if she wanted a present she better buy me a coat or I'll be forced to buy my own and then I'll have no money. I don't think she cares. I'll buy her a present, too, cuz I'm not that mean. But I need a damn coat.
I don't have a belt on today and I feel naked. When Stacey called and informed me that it was 7 and I better get my ass moving, I managed to forget the belt. I didn't even have time to blow my nose. Haha. I woke up at the usual time, too. I just opted to watch some gay show on TV and sip hot chocolate instead of getting ready.
I want to buy my neighbor's Mercedes. It's an older one in really good condition and I don't think it is too badly priced. Considering the car I'm supposed to drive is about to die, I figure we sell it and we would get a grand out of it and then I can pay whatever the difference is. I think it sounds like a great idea, my mom thinks otherwise and I haven't talked to my dad yet. He best be doing something to get on my good side soon, though, cuz he's quickly approaching the bad side. I need a new computer, CD player, and car. Ohhh Daddddddy, where are you when I need you (r money)?
I feel like this week is going to be good and I'm not really sure why. Just one of those gut feelings. I hope it's right.
In conclusion "It's only you, beautiful."
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[06 Nov 2003|04:45pm] |
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I feel better now.
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